Dealing with arguments can be a risky proposition if the current state of politics is any indication. Tempers flare, words fly, and no one wins in the end.

Confrontation is unpleasant, and most adults avoid it. It’s much more challenging when you have to educate your youngster on how to resolve conflicts.

For your children to be successful adults, they must understand conflict resolution. Here’s how to teach them the necessary skills:

Listen

Listening is the best way to gain an advantage.

Listening, on the other hand, can be the most difficult aspect of communication. Listening well entails deferring your response until the other person has finished speaking. Wait until the speaker is finished, then summarize what was said by saying, “I hear you saying….”

Validate

Validate the argumentative person’s concerns to demonstrate that you understand them. A straightforward statement like, “I understand why you’re angry right now; anyone in your situation would be angry,” can help to validate the anger.

Set ground rules

If you have children, you can expect squabbles over big and small issues (like a curfew) (hair). Because you know the arguments are going to happen, set your boundaries from the start and stick to them.

Is it acceptable to speak loudly? Will you allow them to pause for a moment? Do you use profanity?

If your children cross lines in their arguments, tell them calmly that what they’re saying is important. You want to know what they think, but if they can’t express it calmly to you, wait until they can. Then proceed to walk away.

Teach that using physical force in an argument is never acceptable.

Know when to intervene.

You want your children to learn to fight their own battles, and they will in time. Until then, your children will require your assistance with some of their disagreements. Be available for them and provide them with the emotional support they require. This may entail listening to them out or, for older children, asking if they want you to get involved in their argument.

If they say no, ask what kind of assistance they’d like you to provide.

Teach mediation techniques.

Allowing everyone to walk away with something rather than no one getting a piece of the pie can be a satisfying way to end an argument.

Your peer mediation and conflict resolution abilities teach children how to deal with disagreements more effectively.

Obviously, the steps you teach your child for handling an argument must be developmentally appropriate for them. A simple game like Rock-Paper-Scissors can sometimes be the most effective way for children to deal with a potentially volatile situation.