Why Children’s Behavior is Different With Each Parent
You will notice that your youngster obeys one parent more than the other at some point. While this may irritate you, rest assured that it is more common than you think. Many psychologists believe it is even natural. Rather than feeling defeated when your children appear to behave better with your spouse than with you, explore the following reasons why this may be occurring in your home.
The primary caregiver is one of the parents.
Children tend to act out more when their primary caregiver’s parent is there. Unless you have a household where parenting responsibilities are truly shared, your children will regard one parent as the primary caregiver. For example, if mom spends more time with the kids, they will feel more at ease expressing themselves to her rather than to dad. While it may be upsetting, children will frequently misbehave or throw more tantrums with the parent who makes them feel safe – usually the parents they spend most of their time with. Kids understand that they can “act out,” and their “mother” will still love them.
Different parenting styles elicit various reactions.
Furthermore, if you and your partner have different parenting methods, your children will respond differently. While it is natural to do certain things differently than your spouse when it comes to parenting, significant differences in parenting styles will have an impact on how your children behave. For example, if one parent is firmer than the other, the children may respond more quickly.
Your Temperament Is Important
Children pick up on their parents’ attitudes. If a parent’s temperament is hostile, the children should not be surprised if they act aggressively as well. Along the same lines, if a parent is calm, children will notice. As a result, it is vital to keep your cool — even while your toddler is having a meltdown.
It is their decision.
Children, particularly toddlers, have very few things over which they have control. So, in some circumstances, your children may simply choose to behave differently with one parent than the other since it is within their control. You may help to prevent this by giving your child frequent opportunities to make decisions.
Their birth order is also important.
Several studies have found that birth order has a substantial impact on one’s behavior. It is common for your first child to be more compliant than your second child. First-born children are more concerned with pleasing their parents, whereas second-born children are more rebellious.
So, what should you do if you observe your children behaving differently with one parent than the other? The easiest strategy to deal with this problem in your home is to portray a united front to your children. Your children must see and believe that you and your spouse are on the same team. Establish clear ground rules and expectations that both parents understand.