How to Sit Shiva
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Shiva is an important Jewish mourning ritual observed during the seven days following the burial of a close family member. It allows loved ones to come together and support each other through the grieving process. If you’re unsure how to sit Shiva, here are six steps to guide you through the process.
1. Return Home:
After the funeral, mourners typically return to their home or a designated Shiva home. The continuity of moving from the cemetery to the location of Shiva is considered a symbolic transition from honoring the deceased to comforting the living relatives.
2. Light a Memorial Candle:
As part of the first step, light a memorial candle (also called a Yahrzeit or seven-day candle) in honor of the deceased. Depending on your customs and traditions, you can either light it at the burial site or in your Shiva home.
3. Prepare for Visitors:
The purpose of sitting Shiva is to allow friends and community members to visit and comfort mourners. Set up a space in your home with comfortable seating arrangements, such as low chairs or cushions, for those observing Shiva.
4. Observe Religious Customs:
During this period, it is essential to observe religious customs specific to Jewish mourning practices such as reciting Kaddish (a prayer traditionally said by close relatives for the deceased) and refraining from daily routines like cooking, doing laundry, or wearing leather shoes.
5. Accept Offered Support:
As family and friends visit throughout the week, they may bring food or offer assistance with cleaning and other household tasks. Accept their kindness gratefully as this will allow you to focus on grieving and honoring your loved one’s memory.
6. End Shiva with Kaddish:
On the final day of Shiva, perform one last recitation of the Kaddish prayer and light has been extinguished, marking the end of the official mourning period. However, remember that grieving is a personal journey and it’s okay to continue grieving even after Shiva has ended.
In conclusion, sitting Shiva is an important part of the Jewish grieving process and serves as a valuable time of reflection, mourning, and finding comfort among friends and family. It is essential to understand and follow traditional customs while also allowing for personal expression and healing. The support provided during this time helps mourners navigate this challenging period.