Food poisoning can be a real pain, but sometimes you need an excuse to skip a gathering or event. If you want to fake food poisoning, follow these 12 steps to make it convincing and avoid raising suspicion.

1. Do your research: Learn about the symptoms of food poisoning and be aware of how they manifest themselves.

2. Choose a culprit: Pick a specific type of food that could have caused the ‘poisoning,’ such as undercooked seafood or expired leftovers.

3. Start slow: Begin by complaining about stomach pain or indigestion to lay the groundwork for your story.

4. Develop the symptoms: Gradually display more signs of sickness, like nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and fever.

5. Be realistic: Keep in mind that food poisoning usually occurs within hours of consuming contaminated food, so plan your faux illness accordingly.

6. Be consistent: Stick with your story and repeat the details when asked about what happened.

7. Master your acting skills: Convey pain, discomfort and weakness as convincingly as possible to sell the performance.

8. Practice good hygiene: Mention that you’ve been washing your hands frequently and keeping your germs contained to alleviate suspicions.

9. Stay close to home (or bathroom): Most food poisoning victims are advised to stay home and close to a toilet in case of an unexpected episode.

10. Drink fluids: Hydrate regularly as someone with food poisoning needs extra fluid due to vomiting and diarrhea.

11. Keep communication minimal: To avoid further questions or suspicion, communicate less with friends or family members after the faux event has occurred.

12. Recover in a reasonable timeframe: Food poisoning typically lasts 24-48 hours, so start feeling ‘better’ after an appropriate amount of time has passed.

Remember that faking an illness can be ethically questionable, so consider the repercussions before taking this route. It’s also important to note that this article is meant for entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be taken as medical advice.