During the developmental stage, children undergo a multitude of changes that can spark curiosity about their sex and sexuality. Sex Education provides children with appropriate information regarding sexuality so that they can make informed decisions about their sexual health and relationships. Many parents find it difficult to initiate “the talk” with their children but they must do so. If you are in the same boat, here is a guide for sexual education to help you.

1.      Be Clear and Confident

When discussing sex, it’s important to remain calm, confident and open. This helps the child to understand that sex isn’t taboo or shameful. Sometimes when elders portray something as a taboo, children become curious and fantasize about it. It is essential for children to have a positive view of sexuality, so speak confidently, openly and frankly about it.

2.      Take Every Opportunity

Times have changed from when ‘the talk’ was limited to just a few topics. People now recognize the importance of covering a wide range of sex-related topics like human growth & development, reproduction, sexual abuse, sexual health, masturbation, parenthood, contraception, abortion, etc. Covering everything at once can overwhelm a child. Instead, whenever a situation arises to address sexual topics, discuss it. Sex education is a lifelong process with many teachable moments.

3.      Starting

Start early, even when your child is a toddler. At this stage, conversations can be about the human anatomy and physiology of boys and girls, the uniqueness of each body regardless of physical or mental differences, the difference between good and bad touch, the importance of consent, handling sexual harassment situations and respecting others’ personal space.

4.      Prepubescence

It is helpful to start conversations related to puberty, menstruation, menopause, body image, gender identity, nocturnal emission (wet-dreams), etc. before your child hits puberty, so they’re well-prepared. Body image means the effect of the image of one’s body on their feelings and behaviors. When puberty approaches, children undergo significant physical and emotional changes. Normalizing these changes will prevent them from feeling uncomfortable or out of place.

The concept of gender identity should be normalized. If a child doesn’t internally identify themselves as their biological sex, it can affect their mental health, leading to self-doubt, lack of confidence and anxiety. Parents should reassure their children that “it’s okay not to identify as their biological gender”. If they experience harassment or discrimination because of perceived gender identity, they should tell their parents, law enforcement authority or school officials.

5.      Teenage Years

Teenagers can access information about sex online and you have no control over the kind of information they find. It’s better that you give them the right information to help them make informed decisions. Discuss sexual orientation, sexual abuse, sexual abstinence, contraception, pregnancy, abortion, family planning, parenthood, sexual fantasies & desires, STDs, and the importance of being responsible.

Being responsible includes caring for your private areas, taking active measures to prevent contracting or transmitting STDs, using birth control and condoms, engaging in protective, consensual, non-exploitative, pleasurable and honest sexual relationships, abstaining from engaging in sexual activities due to peer pressure, respecting your partner by informing them about your sexual health, having regular gynecological check-ups and indulging in sexual activities in a private place.

Moreover, they should understand that it’s natural to have sexual feelings, desires and fantasies but acting on them isn’t necessary.

During puberty, some kids start to develop feelings – sexually or romantically. It’s valuable to understand sexual orientation – “some are attracted to or fall in love with someone of the same gender and some to another gender”. Ridiculing someone based on their sexual preferences is disrespectful and unacceptable.

6.      Reproduction

One can explain this concept by saying “men and women have reproductive organs that enable them to reproduce. Men produce sperm, and women produce eggs. When they combine, a fetus forms that grows into a baby inside the woman’s body. After 9 months, the baby comes out of the woman’s body through the vagina or by an operation called Caesarian Section. Some people cannot reproduce, some choose not to and others choose to adopt – none of them are wrong or bad”.

You can make these discussions more informative according to your child’s age so feel free to have open conversations about sexuality.