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How To
Home›How To›4 Ways to Stop a So-Called Friend from Putting You Down

4 Ways to Stop a So-Called Friend from Putting You Down

By Matthew Lynch
January 10, 2024
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Introduction

Friendship is meant to be a nurturing and supportive relationship. Unfortunately, some friends, either consciously or unconsciously, can bring you down with their negative behavior. To help preserve your self-esteem and protect yourself from such individuals, use the following four strategies to stop a so-called friend from putting you down.

1. Communicate Directly and Assertively

The first step in dealing with a friend who’s always putting you down is communicating your feelings assertively. Let them know that their behavior is not appreciated and that it negatively impacts your self-esteem and overall well-being. Be direct, assertive, and calm while expressing your concerns, ensuring that you use “I” statements so as not to put them on the defensive.

Example: “I feel hurt when you make derogatory comments about my appearance or decisions.”

2. Set Boundaries

If communicating with directness and assertion does not bring about change in their behavior, establish boundaries regarding acceptable behavior towards you. Clarify that disregard for these limits will negatively impact your friendship.

Example: “If you continue making such comments about me, I’ll have to distance myself from our relationship.”

3. Surround Yourself with Positivity

One of the most effective ways to counteract negativity is by surrounding yourself with positive energy and supportive people. Identify friends who lift you instead of bringing you down and spend more time with them.
By being around supportive individuals who genuinely care about your well-being, your confidence will surely grow stronger, making it easier for you to put an end to anyone trying to bring you down.

4. Reevaluate the Friendship

If none of these strategies seem effective in changing your friend’s behavior, it’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself about the value this person brings into your life. Sometimes it may be best to move on from a toxic friendship.

Ask yourself whether this person consistently belittles or undermines you, as this is a red flag for their impact on your self-esteem. Remember that true friendships should be uplifting and supportive.

Conclusion

Dealing with a friend who constantly puts you down can be a challenging experience. However, through clear communication, boundary setting, getting support from other friends, and reevaluating the friendship if necessary, you can rise above their negativity and regain your self-confidence. True friends elevate and support each other. If someone does not offer that to you, it may be time to move on to more fruitful relationships.

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