How to Teach Your Child to Make a Genuine Apology
Making an apology entails more than simply mumbling, “Sorry.” According to experts, that is not an apology, nor is a statement like “Sorry, stupid.”
When prompted, children frequently utter that two-syllable apology, but there is no genuine sincerity behind the word.
How can you educate your child to apologize sincerely?
Make an apology.
According to Girls and Boystown behaviorists, we must teach children how to apologize.
Boystown provides the following four steps to assist children in making their apologies:
“Take a look at the person.
Explain why you’re sorry.
Make a subsequent statement.
Thank you for taking the time to hear me out.”
Each step has a rationale, and it provides children with a scaffolded response on which to rely in a potentially stressful situation. The apology must be more than just a recitation from a script. When a child has hurt someone else, the best thing to do is to apologize sincerely and with meaning.
This four-step apology, however, does not sit well with everyone. Some parents prefer more natural ways of apologizing. Consider the following approaches:
- Use proper timing.
Avoid making your child apologize while she is still angry.
The apologies will not be genuine, and your daughter will most likely repeat the behavior that is what landed her in problems in the first place. Instead, wait for her to calm down before apologizing.
- Sincerity is important.
Avoid putting pressure on your youngster to apologize. According to Positive Parenting, you should let your child apologize in the style and at the time that feels most natural to him. Following a rehearsed reaction may appear weird to children.
- Words are not as powerful as actions.
Celebrities in the news have been caught making inappropriate remarks, apologizing for them, and then continuing their heinous behavior. It’s as if they never intended to apologize in the first place.
Even the most heartfelt apologies are meaningless if the offender returns to the same behavior they displayed prior to the apology.
As an example,
Children catch up on what they see and hear by copying it. You can teach your child to apologize by modeling the behavior yourself.
Some adults believe that apologizing involves relinquishing power, but this is not the case. Apologizing puts the individual making the apology in a position of strength and confidence. Admitting mistakes is difficult, but teaching your children what to do when they occur is a valuable life lesson they will remember for the rest of their lives.
What if the other person refuses to accept your apology?
It’s understandable that not all apologies are accepted.
Teach your children that apologizing is the right thing to do. It is the responsibility of the other person to accept the apology. Forgiveness cannot be compelled.
The key thing is that your youngster learnt how to express genuine regret.
